When the Physician Became the Patient
FOUNDER SERIES
Part 3 of 4
Many people assume that because I am trained as a physician, I’ve always known exactly how to care for myself.
The truth is more complicated.
For many years, I spent countless hours studying health, researching new approaches, and expanding my knowledge of conventional medicine, natural health, Chinese medicine, and many other approaches that could help people live healthier lives. I loved learning, and I was passionate about finding better ways to help others.
But if I’m being honest, I wasn’t applying enough of that knowledge to myself.
Looking back now, I can see that I spent years paying close attention to everyone else’s health while overlooking my own.
That changed in 2019.
During routine cardiovascular testing, I learned that my left anterior descending artery, or LAD, was over 80% blocked. The LAD is one of the heart’s major arteries, supplying blood to the heart muscle. A severe blockage in this artery is often referred to as a “widow-maker” because it can lead to a sudden and potentially fatal heart attack.
Had I not undergone that testing, I could have suffered a heart attack or cardiac arrest without any warning.
That discovery became one of the biggest wake-up calls of my life.
I realized I had been paying attention to everyone except myself.
I was deeply grateful the blockage was found before it became a tragedy. At the same time, I knew I needed to make changes, not because someone else expected me to, but because I wanted to protect the health I still had and continue living the life I had been given.
When I looked back, I realized the warning signs had been there for quite some time.
For years, I had been dealing with sleep apnea, panic attacks, anxiety, increasing weight gain, and periods of poor sleep.
I had also become far less physically active than I wanted to be.
I spent a tremendous amount of time studying, researching, writing, and working at my computer. I’ve always had a strong desire to learn. I genuinely enjoy exploring new ideas and discovering better ways to help people. But sometimes I can become so absorbed in information that I remain in my head and lose touch with what is happening in my body.
I wasn’t regularly stopping to check in with myself.
Like many people, I simply kept moving forward. I assumed I could power through my health concerns. Looking back now, I realize I was asking my body to carry far more than I was giving back to it.
The cardiovascular findings forced me to slow down and recognize that my own health deserved the same attention I encouraged others to give theirs.
One thing surprised me more than I ever expected.
I never thought I would become the one sitting in the patient’s chair.
As a physician, you’re accustomed to gathering information, creating a plan, and helping someone else navigate uncertainty. When you’re the one facing the diagnosis, everything feels different.
You experience the fear.
The uncertainty.
The vulnerability.
Medical knowledge doesn’t make those feelings disappear. If anything, I discovered that it can sometimes be harder to be the patient than the physician. That experience changed me in ways I never anticipated.
Improving my health wasn’t something I could accomplish overnight. It became a step-by-step journey, one that continues today.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that meaningful change rarely comes from one dramatic decision.
It comes from making better choices consistently.
I began improving my food choices and eating at home instead of constantly eating on the road. Preparing meals at home gave my family and me much greater control over the ingredients we used and how our food was prepared.
When I travel now, I usually pack healthy snacks or smoothies, so I have better options available. If I eat at a restaurant, I try to choose foods that are as close as possible to what we prepare at home. I’ve also found that eating smaller meals seems to support my digestion much better. After several surgeries and medical treatments, rebuilding and supporting my gut health became increasingly important to me.
Today, my family and I pay much closer attention to where our food comes from, what ingredients it contains, and how it’s prepared. We’re certainly not perfect, but we do the best we can whenever possible.
One day I’d love to grow more of our own food again.
Michelle would probably smile if she read this because she’d tell you I still need to do a better job of consistently reading food labels, especially when I decide to throw a random item into the shopping cart.
She’s probably right.
My goal isn’t perfection. My goal is to remain aware and continue making better choices.
My understanding of stress has also changed dramatically.
For many years, I didn’t fully appreciate how much stress was affecting my sleep, my weight, my anxiety, my emotional well-being, and my physical health. I thought I could simply power through almost anything.
In reality, I was sometimes moving backward without realizing it.
Physicians can become so focused on hundreds of details outside themselves that they stop noticing what’s happening inside their own bodies.
That was certainly true for me.
Today, I intentionally create reminders to step away from my computer, move my body, and simply check in with myself. I use health-tracking technology not only to collect information, but to remind me to rest and move throughout the day.
I still love studying. I still love researching and writing. The challenge is that I can easily lose track of time. Michelle still has to remind me to “come back to the planet” and move once in a while.
When I feel myself becoming overly stressed, I may step outside, look at the sky, and take a few deep breaths. Before bed, I often create a quiet wind-down routine by sitting in the dark, meditating, relaxing, or listening to calming music. In the morning, I try to wake up early enough to enjoy a few peaceful moments before the day begins.
Those small habits have become an important part of caring for my health.
Sleep has become one of my highest priorities.
Because of my sleep apnea, I now pay much closer attention to the quality of my sleep. I monitor it with my CPAP machine, my Oura Ring, and other available health information. I keep my bedroom as dark as possible and allow myself the time to unwind before going to bed.
I’ve seen significant improvement, but I’m still working on it.
I often think of health as moving from good… to better… to best. I’m in a much better place today than I was a few years ago, but I’m still working toward the healthiest version of myself that’s realistic for me.
Exercise has become just as important.
I enjoy walking, going to the gym, and doing lighter circuit-style workouts. Today I see exercise as much more than a way to lose weight. I see it as an investment in my heart, my strength, my mobility, my independence, and my future.
People sometimes ask if I’ve reached the point where I finally have everything figured out.
The answer is no. I’m still on my own health journey.
Following the discovery of the blockage in my LAD, I was later diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. I did not have any obvious symptoms of these two conditions, and what’s more, my health had been progressing very positively in other areas. Thankfully, those conditions were identified through regular cardiovascular testing.
Today, I continue balancing conventional medical care with lifestyle improvements and other supportive strategies. I’m still working on my sleep, my nutrition, my gut health, my movement, my stress response, my cardiovascular fitness, and losing additional weight.
I’m also very aware of my family history. My mother experienced diabetes, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s disease. My father died of cancer.
Genetics do certainly matter, but I realize now that they don’t tell the whole story. Our environment, our lifestyle, our nutrition, our stress, and many other factors all influence our health.
Family history is important. But it doesn’t necessarily determine our future.
There is so much we can do to recognize risks earlier, strengthen our health, and make better choices.
I also recognize that implementing lifestyle shifts often feels daunting or even out of reach.
We all navigate professional demands, family obligations, economic constraints, deep-seated habits, and the many anxieties that compete for our energy. There is a profound difference between simply instructing someone on what to change and supporting them as they navigate how to make those adjustments sustainable within their actual lives.
Those personal hurdles are much clearer to me now because I have walked that path myself. Even with my medical background, I can be quite resistant and find myself hesitating to take the very actions I know are necessary.
Ultimately, my experience has shown me that meaningful transformation rarely happens all at once; it begins with a single achievable choice, followed by the next. That’s the approach I try to share with the people I have the privilege of helping today.
And, looking back, my own health journey has taught me something else that no medical textbook ever could.
What we learn in medical school is essential, but it represents only part of what we need to understand about health, illness, healing, and the human experience.
No one knows everything.
No physician. No healthcare system. Certainly not me.
I believe we should continue asking questions, continue learning, and continue building the right healthcare team around ourselves. Depending on our needs, that team may include conventional physicians, specialists, nutrition professionals, therapists, rehabilitation professionals, and other qualified healthcare providers.
I’ve come to believe that healing isn’t about choosing one approach over another. It’s about bringing together the right knowledge, the right resources, and the right people to care for the whole person.
Looking back, I spent many years studying how to help other people before fully recognizing that I needed to apply that same knowledge, concern, and compassion to myself.
I am still learning.
I am still making changes.
I am still working toward better health.
That is why I want people to understand that they don’t need to have everything figured out before they begin. They simply need to begin.
Because it is never too late to start.
CONTINUE THE FOUNDER SERIES
Next: A Home for Everything I’ve Learned →